Memento Drive

(BGM Guitar at night)

That very night, I was very tired... I didn't know what to do. I was wearing my shawl and my light with cream and green tint on it. I was walking around the subway and finally standing right on a spot. I didn't know what to do and what to see. Because I was really tired of the way world is going on.

I had been asked about the marriage thing. Truly the very night I was standing here, I was already in my early thirties. In fact, just a few weeks ago was my birthday. I didn't know what should I do right now.

This world... I kinda had a fatigued sight and feel about it. Truly, this was not a kind world. Everyone was minding their own business. Yet, another sight of decadence also came off to the scene. I didn't know what to say that very night until a guy finally came to me, bumping unto me.

"Ano! Sumimasen!"

I didn't know what he thought. He was a random guy wearing a black sweat hoodie jacket and a black eyeglasses. He looked so tired so I didn't really mind on him.

"Ano, I am really sorry for bumping into you. I feel a little dizzy this day"

I just looked at him with neutral expression on my face. I was looking at him seeing around just like how we observe people everyday. His bag was so full of pink and white covered books. I thought it was manga or probably a manga magazine.

"You like these books?"

I kinda felt silence in myself.

"You see. I work in a Manga Shuppan. It's Pinku Shuppan"

And then he gave me his name card.

"This is me. If you are happen to be interested in our works, please do come by. We might give you some free sample if you would like."

I was reading his name card. I was kind perplexed at how mangaish was his name card. Hirano Takahiro. That was his name.

"Hi..rano san.."

That's what I mumbled on myself trying to read his name.

...

 

I am feeling sad right now. I don't know if what I am doing right now is the most right thing. But I just keep feeling myself deep inside. This heart of mine is not that good to hold so much thing at once. I feel like I need to rest myself more.

 

Night is so starless here in the city. It used to be so starry when the light was not that much. I cannot find words to describe it. In this balcony... Like how I was in my childhood rooftop. I don't know anymore I am drown in my on thought.

 

I pray to God, this day will become better. But all I can do right now is spent my time in this night atmosphere under the sky. The wind keeps blowing and it really caresses me so every time. 

 

Suddenly. my phone is ringing. The glaring phone's light is dazzling through my eyes.

 

"Hello..."

 

"Moshi, moshi. What are you doing right now Matsunaga kun?"

 

I move my fingers along the rail. It does feel really sober this night. The calm atmosphere really goes through my heart.

 

"I am just on my balcony."

 

"Nandai? Is there anything wrong?"

 

I am wondering about it myself since he suddenly calls me this night.

 

"How about you? Why are you calling me so late this night?"

 

I just enjoys this night's air. I feel like when the sun is up, I feels so much pressure from people.

 

"Uhmm, it is just happen to me that I want to call you."

 

"Nan nanda sore..."

 

"I mean it."

 

It feels so funny. Hirano san is answering whatever comes up on his mind. I cringe o  my mouth a little bit because I don't feel like laughing out loud this night. 

 

"Uhm, I wonder if you are thiking about something"

 

"Me? I don't... I just hangs around this balcony."

 

"Every night?"

 

"Uhm, every night."

 

"I wish the moon was beautiful tonight."

 

"I think so..."

 

I wonder what he means with that. The moon is not up tonight for it is the period of new moon. But I can still see that the cloud is up there somewhere. Whatever it is, the night feels so mystic. Like a tranquil night somewhere.

 

"I hope we can watch the stars somewhere."

 

 "Tashikani..."

 

Indeed, I wanted to watch stars again these past few days. My grandpa's hometown is located in the countryside. So it has less light pollution like the one in the city.

 

"Sure, let's go somewhere when we both have the free time"

 

"Ja, will you really okay going there with me somewhere at night?"

 

I am perplexed at the time he say this. But, it's not like we are doing something other than watching stars.

 

"I think... it should be okay?"

 

"Then, it's decided."

 

I was wondering a bit why he suddenly asked me to watch stars somewhere with him.

 

"Ano. Hirano san. Have you never watched stars before?"

 

I think he was surprised a bit why I asked this to him.

 

"When I was still a child, I used to have someone I watched stars with. It was on the school's rooftop."

 

I am wondering a bit about what he told me...

 

"So, what was your favorite star?"

 

He paused a bit. It was really a long time ago. So he must have been thinking and digging his memories back then.

 

"Vega. Vega was what I watched the most?"

 

Badump. Vega? I didn't think that we would like the same star. Isn't this like a weird coincidence? When I was still child, I used to memorizing the name of the stars. And when I stumbled upon Vega, I didn't know why... I don't seem to be able to forget it since.

 

"So what about you?"

 

"Uhm... I don't know. I think I just like them all."

 

It feels silent after we talked about stars. I put my head on my palm. My elbow is on the rail. I am spending the time just feeling the night.

 

"Tokoro de Matsunaga kun, do you have time this weekend?"

 

I wonder about it. Why is he asking me so suddenly.

 

"I think I will go somewhere..."

 

He is silent for a bit.

 

"Jitsu wa, I wanted you to go to some book exhibition held by my Shuppan. I wish you could come."

 

Uhm, I feel bad about it when he said it was about his shuppan's event.

 

"I don't know if I can come... So I can't promise you..."

 

"Wakatta, it's okay. I understand that you have your me time on weekends. I hope you didn't mind what I was telling you."

 

He is really passionate about his work. I can see that he is a motivated yet an understanding person.

 

"Ja... I hope I can visit yours sometime"

 

"Hai. Arigatou na."

 

He feels so warm and firm this time. I hope I can support him just a little. I understand that everyone has their own pride in things. And making them smile about something they really put themselves into really feels so good. It makes me smile. 

 

....

 

Today, I am drinking in a cafe with Hirano-san. I wanted to try it as it just popped out recently. And it is quite near to the station.

 

''Is that all you want?"

 

"Hai."

 

I do not want to order too much as I just want to see how it is inside and give myself a new thing to see. These days, works seem tiring. So, I need to change my pace a little bit.

 

We just sit next to the window. The sunliIht is really bright but I kinda like it because the situation didn't let me get enough sunlight. Hirano-san and I just mind our own business. I am really thankful that he wants to spend time with me. But, he also need to take care of his authors. Since you know, authors are always slagging so there is actually no time for an editor to just let things be considering the monthly deadline they need to fulfill.

 

I just slurping my raspberry drink while scrolling through my phone. Suddenly, my phone is ringing.

 

brrr brrr

 

I wonder who it is.

 

Masaoka... I wonder what he wants to talk with me this time.

 

''Moshi, moshi....''

 

"Moshi, moshi Matsunaga. Sorry for disturbing you. But are you free now.?"

 

Well I am not exactly free right now. But, whatever. Ma ii ka.

 

"Hai, hai. I am free dakedo. Dou shita no?"

 

"Ano saa, you know where I work at right?"

 

"You are still at Engumi right? What happened?"

 

''See, you remember Mitsunaga-san right?''

 

Mitsunaga...

 

"Ah, you mean Mitsuo?"

 

I call him Mitsuo because our names are similar so they just get mixed by some people.

 

"See. He is kinda frustrating me these days?

 

I wonder why.... I mean I don't see they will have a beef or something.

 

''I mean how?''

 

"Ano... I think he kinda likes me"

 

"What?? Chotto matte...  How is that so Masaoka? I mean I didn't really see it coming you know..."

 

"I mean he keeps pestering me this day. And with his ways trying to charm me into his trap..."

 

Right, that's just the way he is.

 

"I mean, you know right Matsunaga when he tried to charm you..."

 

Hikkuu..... I remember that charao again. I mean he is handsome, and tall, He has that tanned skin that suit his body and hairstyle so I don't see the general problem with that. But! I don't like charao so no chance with me.

 

"Chotto matt..."

 

Hirano-san is glancing to me. He seems to have curiosty with what I discuss with Masaoka.

 

"Umm, nan demo nai..."

 

I think I shouldn't have talking about this embarassing charao in front of him. So, I guess I have to continue it later.

 

"Tokoro de, Masaoka-san. Nanika aru kara, ato renraku suru ne. I will contact you latter."

 

"Chotto matt..."

 

"Ja naa."

 

Bipp. I end the call. I really feel like sluggish again after this conversation about charao-kun.

 

"Nandai. Dou shita no?"

 

Hirano-san is looking at me through his black eyeglasses.

 

"iyaaa, nan demo nai desu. nothing at all."

 

I smile at him and then lay my side face on the table. I sighed. It's really strange how I don't want to tell Hirano-san about charao-kun. I think it's just a hassle to talk to him about this mundane character. Right, what a character he is.

 

Hirano-san seems like serious right now. But I can't tell what he is thinking right now.

 

"Ano saa, if you ever have something you need to talk about, I am here for you, okay?"

 

I think he is a bit concerned about me.

 

"Hai...."

 

He then pat my head several time like I am a child in front of me while my head is still on the table.

 

"Chanto shite ne."

 

Uhng,  that's what I mumble in my heart.

 

.

After several time inside, now is the time for us to get back. I think Hirano-san also has finished his works. I can see his face saying it all. It looks like he is tired. Yet, he also feels relieved with all the works that he has done.

 

As we try to open the door, someone flashy comes inside.

 

"Matsunaga? Is that you?"

 

...